MALAWIAN FUNERAL CEREMONY
Monday 12th August
Following a nice long weekend, an extra day added to celebrate with our Muslim brothers the festival of Eid, marking the end of Ramadan. It was hard to get out of bed, to motivate self and get ready for work; this particular morning was no exception. Five more minutes became 10minutes and so on until I finally ran out of excuses. Finally staggered out of bed, wishing it was Saturday all over again! With time against me rushed around like a headless chicken just to be ready in time for when my driver comes to pick me up for work. I managed to be ready for 8 o’clock only to discover my driver was running late. He had suffered a puncture on his way to my house. Gutted I was, if only I could have spent an extra 10 more minutes in bed.
I felt sorry for my driver, nothing worse than a punctured tyre first thing in the morning or any time of the day. We finally arrived at the office just after 8.30am. Officially, I should be in the office for 8 o’clock, but because I am picked up after our departmental director I often arrive between 8.15 – 8.30. Again leaving the office between 4 - 4.30.
Arriving at the office my colleague broke the sad news of the death of husbands of two of our nurses. Since my placement at the NMCM everyday one hears news of a death or a funeral-taking place. As I write this blog news of another death and a funeral due to take place, all in days work.
On hearing the news, knowing my colleague was going I asked if it would be okay to accompany her, I wanted to witness a Malawian funeral ceremony. Thinking it would be the next day or so, to my surprise the funeral was taking place the very day she informed me! Not only was I unprepared for the short notice, but also inappropriately dressed for a funeral. I had offered to go home and change into suitable attire however, my colleague insisted there was no need, instructing me to use her zitenje and wrap it around my trouser and this would be acceptable, new learning, different culture, different learning and new experiences.
In Malawi, every woman I come across seem to carry a chitenje/ wrapper around with them or keep one in office for emergency, an impromptus occasion, such as funerals. Now I know why. This is something I have also adopted, having worked for four years, as a Clinical Lead with the Strictly Orthodox Jewish Community, in Stamford Hill London. I have developed the importance of being culturally sensitized and this has enabled me to have knowledge, appreciation, respect and understanding of other cultures other than my own.
After debating whether we should go to the church or straight to the cemetery, we decided to head straight to the cemetery. As we waited for the arrival of the funeral cortege, I could not help noticing the procession of people arriving, many from work, it was obvious by the type of cars present, white 4x4’s with logos of the numerous organizations, NGOs. Open trucks carrying family members and friends from the villages and within Lilongwe. Women in their assortments of different designs of zitenjes (wrappers), some promoting maternal health, TB, Malaria, food etc., all worn over dresses, skirts and nurses’ uniform etc. Finally, the funeral cortege arrived with a procession of singing coming from open trucks following the hearse to the cemetery. It was then we could proceed, and follow behind the funeral cortege into the cemetery. The women headed in one direction and the men in another. Counting I estimated over 100 or so mourners crowded inside the cemetery facing the coffin a very touching and moving scene of a young family man in his late forties, a sad sight to beheld.
I witnessed something I had never come across in my life. On entering the cemetery, the women took their sitting positions on the ground. My colleague ushered me to take my place next to her on the ground. Initially I found myself feeling uneasy and horrified with the prospect of having to sit on the ground in a cemetery, this conjured up all kinds of images in my head. Bad enough walking and standing in a cemetery worse having to sit on the ground in a cemetery. A real no, no, in a Ghanaian/West African culture to sit on the ground in a cemetery, (unless the person be a witch). To mingle with the spirits of the dead and not forgetting the evil spirits too. And as if this was not bad enough what about the ants and the creepy crawlers too! Oh! I was scared, really scared what to do I thought to myself. At the end of the day it boiled down to ‘Humility’, be humble! So humbly, I took my place next to my colleague and the other women. As I took my place on the ground absorbing in what was taking place I drafted in thoughts to the book of Job in the Old Testament Bible/Torah. The story of Job, how G-d allowed Satan to test Job, so he sat on the ground and lamented, ‘sitting in shiv’ah’. He suffered greatly and was tested in the end emerged out of his suffering a great man. Job teaches us humility and makes us realize our trails are but nothing. A must read book even for non-believers, the book of Job .
The men stood and the women sat on the ground during the initial singing then they also took their position on the ground. Two men stooped, only because they were Caucasians, like me not sure what to do however, they managed the situation well. As the service progressed, they were offered seats, chairs brought in by an organization.
As one who not only loves music but also appreciates the different types of music and melodies from around the world, I find music of the southern hemisphere very beautiful and soothing to listen to. How I wish I could sing such melodies. There is a type of harmony that can only be found in the southern part of Africa, which is unique to them alone and cannot be found anyway else in the world (in my opinion). I found the singing very soothing and reflective on life and death. It caused me to reflect on my own life, experiences, my journey so far, why Malawi and G-d’s purpose for bringing me to Malawi, His future plans for my life, and even my own death someday. We cannot escape death something no matter what we will all someday have to face it, go through it, ‘the passage of life’ the end. Writing this piece, I thought of the book, given to me as a present from my very dear sister, my ‘big sis’. “The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?” by Rick Warren. A very popular book read by many Christians. A worthy book to read, not only does it give perspective to live, but also the meaning and purpose of life, as the title suggests, “What on earth am I here for?” Questions many of us often ask ourselves when faced with trials, or when we are going through what can seem like a hopeless situation, life itself becomes meaningless. I have yet to meet a person who has never asked the question, why am I here and what is the purpose of my life? Even King Solomon, the wise King reflected on life when he wrote the book of ‘Ecclesiastes’ “All is vanity” and “A Time for Everything”.
The service was extremely long sitting in the hot day sun in a cemetery was the most uncomfortable experience. The service went on for nearly 2 hours, singing, saying of prayers, more singing and prayers followed by the announcements of donations of monies. It is our African custom to help someone who has suffered a loss/bereavement with the giving of money, this custom also applies to births, weddings and other occasions too. One that I am proud of, the giving of monies helps the family of the deceased towards the funeral costs, (in Africa funerals are very big occasion and very expensive in some cases on the same par as weddings) and in most cases, supports the family especially in cases where there are young children. This helps provides for the children. Following the announcements of the monetary donations another long ritual of announcements of families, organizations and societies who have come with wreaths and flowers. Each family, organizations and societies called to present their wreath(s) or flowers on the grave of the deceased. All of which was done in a methodical manner, Malawian style. Once the final wreath/flower placed on the grave of the deceased and grace said we were all free to go. There was no going back to the deceased family’s house for refreshments. I believe in Malawi this done prior to the burial and only the very close family members will meet at the house and have refreshments prior to the burial and go back to the house afterwards. By the time we left dusk was beginning to set in 5.15 pm Malawian time.
I was glad when it was all over leaving the cemetery and the lingering spirits behind. Glad to get home and straight into the shower taking off the grave clothes. A truly wonderful experience and was glad to have been invited and to have been part of another African tradition and custom. When I tell fellow Malawians I have been to a Malawian funeral, they are both surprised and shocked. The conversation goes something like this. “ah, so you have been to a Malawian funeral?! You are now a Malawian”. I am sure there will be many more opportunities for me to attend another funeral(s), engagements and weddings, during my placement in Malawi.
In conclusion, in Africa we have many customs and rituals, which take place for marriages, births and deaths. Some tribes will perform their tribal customs first as required by their tribe. This is in most cases followed by a Christian service, whereas others may perform both pagan and Christian customs.
The sitting on the ground is showing humility but also identifying with the dead, returning to the earth. Moreover, no one is above death. A reminder that someday, we shall all return to the earth from which we came from. To confirm my assumption I asked my colleague who confirmed this as being accurate. I found this experience very humbling and the learning about another African culture other than my own.
Job: 2: V13 “ And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven night, and no one spoke a word to him for they saw that his suffering was very great. In Judaism known as “sitting in Shiv’ah”
A week later after my Malawian funeral experience, on the drive home from work I noticed branches of leaves spread across the street. This baffled me greatly wondering, why someone would place branches of leaves across the street. What was the meaning of this act? The next day on the way to work (8am) the branches of leaves were still there, this time cars also lined the street. My driver, Mr. Hudson quickly informed me a funeral ceremony was taking place. He explained when there is a funeral-taking place branches of leaves are placed across the street of the deceased to inform the neighbourhood and visitors that there is a funeral ceremony taking place.
Catherine Sekwalor
September 2013
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